Lighting the Fire 2009

It's so hard to believe that there's only about 1 month left before summer break. It's crazy-on one hand, I really need the break, but on the other hand, I'm really going to miss my students over the summer!

Right now all the teachers are at a conference put on by MFNERC called Lighting the Fire. I wasn't looking forward to it initially. Based on my subject area, I sometimes come away very disappointed but not this time. Instead, I've been really blown away.

The first workshop I took was about finding funding outside the box. We were taught how to write proposals and business plans, as well as learning about various grants that are available. The presenter was extremely inspirational. He works at Peguis, and has brought in hundreds of thousands of dollars for their community.

Today, I attended a whole day workshop about bringing theatre into the school programming. Wow. I'll add her name in later, but she's well respected in the native community. Her mother also came, who is quite the inspiration herself (a professor at University of Toronto with a doctorate in sociology, an actress, and an established writer/novelist). Both of them together had so much knowledge to pass on. It was simply incredible. I am so tired...the class wore me out, but it was amazing.

I have one day left and that's tomorrow, so I'm hoping the pattern will continue!

I went out for lunch today with one of the teacher's, and we had a great time...I love Dolly. She's like a breath of fresh air, and one thing she said to me was that she admired the strength I have and she can see it within me. I needed to hear that. It meant the world as I've struggled to find my place in amongst some of the teaching staff at the school. I don't fit in a box to put mildly and while I wouldn't refer to my teaching style as radical, it could be considered by some as such. It was just so nice to sit and chat and talk and laugh our asses off!

Unbelievable Roads

So, this is my first year of ever experiencing roads like this. It's crazy, deadly, and unfathonable that in this day of age, we have roads like this. Where I work, there's no pavement, except for the school parking lot and maybe a block stretch from the school to the main road. For the most part, i would estimate the main road to be a couple miles maybe of clay-like dirt. Where's the gravel? Good question....the roads haven't been well maintained, and if there is any gravel left, there's very little of it.

I should point out that because of the roads, we haven't had school Wednesday and Thursday of this week. I'm kinda scared that they'll try to make us go tomorrow. The roads are super scary, and I don't want anyone to get hurt.

I've been able to get my hands on some pics and thought I'd post them for you all to see.

Another Tragedy

There is so much sorrow, so much tragedy out on the reserve. Earlier this year, we lost a little girl from our school in a house fire. Today, another house fire claimed the life of a little boy in kindergarten. Do you know how common it is to see the flag at half mast? We just had three deaths, with the last being buried last week-a brother of a coworker, a son of a coworker, and a baby (my student's nephew). Deaths seems to come in three, and it's a firm belief out on the reserve. So we can honestly expect two more.

These people are some of the strongest I've ever seen-I've never seen so much tragedy in my life. I have a hard time grasping it at times, but they deal with it on a daily basis. You have to understand that when one person is affected, all are affected. People are all interconnected, and it affects everybody. I know it's taken a toll on myself, but imagine the toll it's taken on the people out there? This is their daily life, 24/7.

Privatization

Well my friends, you've obviously realized that I've now made my blog private. By making it private, I can also be a bit more descriptive of what's going on and where I am, but that's not the true reason. Without going into details, lately I've been feeling like I need to be a little more careful with whom I share things.

A Student's View

We're completing the last part of our human rights unit-now on the residential schools in Canada. I had the kids do a web of what they knew and what they thought about the residential schools. I was surprised by one of my student's webs. It was very thought provoking. he basically felt his people had been prostituted out by the government in exchange for the restitution money. Ii understood where he was coming from-he was saying he felt his people were being bought off. Whether or not I agree, you have to recognize where this boy is coming from. He's sayin the money is not enought for the damage it's done to his people.

He's been through so much and experienced so much. I almost didn't even realize that he had such deep thoughts about the subject. You see, he's the life of the party, and it can be very hard to get serious answers out of him. He could be a great leader if he chose to stay on the right path. He would make a great lawyer for his people I believe.

Disappointments Along the Way

I struggle whether or not I should record my feelings of discouagement. I want this blog to showcase the great things, not necessarily the not so great things. At the same time, I feel I need to be honest as disappointments and tragedy is quite common here on the reserve.

People think that there is all the money in the world for anyone who is native or any organization that is native oriented. I can't speak for all places, but the people here are not rich. The school is not rich. The school has a lot of difficulties. I've been without a fridge for almost a year now and I'm a Home Ec teacher. I brought in a tiny bar fridge, and that's quit now...I sell pop to bring money in for food, school supplies, etc. I don't quite like selling pop as I feel it's a total oxymoron, but it brings in money.

And today, I discovered that my digital camera, worth a lot of money, was stolen. I accidently forgot it at school last night, and now it's gone. I'm just grateful that my pictures were uploaded from my great grandmother's recent birthday. I'm not a rich person. I put a lot of my own money back into the classroom, and I work hard to make ends meet. I also don't think it was any of my own students. I don't know who would have taken it, but it's so discouraging. That camera is used all the time for school, for my art, family, and other things. It's so discouraging. I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to replace it. Things are tight right now, for everybody.

Update: got my camera back!!!!

Human Rights

Lately, things have been a little crazy-kids are hyper, the roads have been a mess, and I'm trying to keep my energy up as the kids are winding down, getting prepared for summer.

I've been teaching a very heavy unit as part of my Grade 9 Social Studies class-human rights. I got the idea from a division that I used to work with, the largest in my province. Where they normally tackle human rights in eighth grade and the Holocaust in the ninth, I decided to combine the two. So in my human rights unit, we are covering the Holocaust, the assimilation of aboriginal children in Australia, and the residential schools here in Canada.

Many had never heard of the Holocaust, and those that had heard about it, still could not explain it. We started off with a word splash, followed by a Powerpoint Presentation. We watched the film, Schindler's List...and wow that was hard. I had watched it previously in the theatre when it first came out, but it was just as hard watching it again-maybe even harder being an adult watching it. I knew it would be hard for them and after the first day, I could see that it was getting to a few. A couple admitted it made them angry, and to that I replied, "good, you should be angry". My point? By feeling what they did, they were acknowledging the injustice done to the people. One of my favorite quotes is something like, "if you forget the past, you're condemned to repeating it", one that I shared with my students. I was pleased that the kids were understanding and recognizing the horrible things done to the Jewish people. I was even more pleased that when we finished the film, and I turned the lights on, quite a few of my students had wet eyes.

We started the brief unit on the assimilation of half caste aboriginal children in Australia, watching "Rabbit Proof Fence". Wow...what a film. It's based on a true story of three girls who are sent to residential school, and escape. They travel over 1500 miles to get back home. It's unbelievable. I haven't had a chance to discuss it with my students yet, but they were really into it.

We start the residential schools in Canada next and I think that's going to be hard. It's a lot for the kids to process-a lot for me to process. My method is not to be the teacher, but a facilitator, even a learner with my students. I have some amazing stuff that was sent to me by the Aboriginal Healing Foundation and we have an elder coming in, one I mentioned earlier.

I'm really proud of these kids for recognizing the past injustices.

Joke of the Day: How Many Janitors Does It Take To Get A White Chick Out Of Her Office?

Today was the first day back from spring break, and I wasn't expecting the kids to have so much energy. I also came back to school knowing that our school had been broken into and that somehow my classroom got hit. What that meant I didn't know until this morning.

So, when I got to my room, I looked around looking for evidence of the break in. I found it in my office. They must have taken something very heavy because they actually knocked my door handle off of my office door right off. Oh yeah-the pieces were lying on the floor and if you looked where the door knob once was, you could see right into my office from the classroom. We had a break in a couple of months ago, in which people got into my office too. Last time though, they found money I'd had from a fundraiser. I learned my lesson, and now take money home each night. My guess? They were looking for money.

To get into the office you had to pull a tab in the hole to pull the lock out. Now this afternoon, I went into my office to get something. I had my grade eight's in for their class-but only two students (it's a very small class). The door closed behind me and guess what? I couldn't get out!! The lock wouldn't budge. So here I am locked inside my office. My grade 8 girls are so shy and I guess they heard me, so they started calling one of my high school students, who I've taught all year. She came in, and I'm yelling for her, and saying I'm stuck!! She tried to pull the lock but it wouldn't work, so I told her to go get help. So one of the security guards came and couldn't get me out so he went to get a set of pliers, and then three more came. It took four to get me out, but I got out!!! Thankfully, they removed the lock thingy...the kids got a hoot of it and I get to make great jokes!

Home Ec Projects (from my Grade 10 class)

Just a few photos to share with you guys. This class had either the choice of a table runner or a wall hanging. The goal was for students to become familiar with basic quilting so we could then do star blankets for the Grade 11 course.

Just Some of the Great Reasons to Drink Kool-Aid!!!

So this is going to be one of the projects that my Grade 8s make in their Home Ec. Options class. Our school goes through tons of these each day, so I can get them free (always good)...made one last night, and I think it turned out awesome. I'd also be willing to sell them to anybody in the school if they wanted (with the money going to the Home Ec Lab)...I'm pretty happy with the project...I think the kids are going to love it!

The Time Right Before Spring Break...

In the last couple of days, there have been some brand new firsts for me. I'm teaching Grade 9 Social Studies for the first time, bought a pack of smokes for the first time, offered tobacco to an elder for the first time, and kicked some ass on the volleyball court!!!

First the Social Studies. I'm starting off by teaching my students a Human Rights unit; by which students learn about the Holocaust, the assimilation of aboriginals into residential schools in Australia, and residential schools here in Canada. Most of these kids had never heard about the Holocaust, and if they had, didn't understand what it was about. We started the unit by doing a word splash whereby students had to list words and/or definitions around each word. We moved on to a Powerpoint presentation that because of unforseen circumstances, had to be presented on my laptop. Thankfully, I made them handouts of the mini slides. Despite the presentation being on my laptop, I'm hoping and I think that they're starting to understand what the Holocaust was and the effect it had on people. We're going to be watching Schlinder's List-of which they have to get parental permission. Some are upset by that because they have watched really bad stuff (this I know as porn is being watched more frequently among the teenagers), but I figure I'm just covering my butt. I have warned them that this movie will haunt them and leave them with scenes in their head that they won't ever forget. I'm excited for this unit and even for this course. I want them to understand that history and current issues are important to who they are as individuals in this country.

Along with this unit, we're covering residential schools. My goal for this is not necessarily for me to be teaching it. I see myself as a learner, along with my students. The Aboriginal Healing Foundation is sending us books and DVDs and I am so blessed and honored to be getting an Elder in about her experience in the residential schools.

The Elder? That was my first tobacco offering (what I bought smokes for). She knew something was up because I had approached her and said that I needed to see her sometime that week and it involved tobacco. On Friday, she found me, and I introduced it first by saying, "this is my first tobacco offering, so I could be messing something up, so please bear with me". I proceeded to explain what I was doing and why I was doing it and the goal of using her. She said yes, and proceeded to give me the biggest hug. I felt so happy, relieved, honored, and so grateful. The fact that she gave me a hug reassured me on my walk in this community and in the beliefs. I know so little, but people are so patient to teach me (well, most of the time!).

***Just a midnote, from what I've been taught, you offer tobacco when you ask for something from someone. Though I don't often believe in referring to books as most of what you learn is oral instruction, from the book, "First Nations-Teaching and Practices" (an amazing book that a dear friend gave to me) it describes tobacco as such:

"Tobacco is considered to be one of the main medicines one needs to carry at all times. Tobacco is used for prayer...Tobacco is also used whenever we seek teachings or attend a ceremony...You may offer tobacco to an Elder when you are seeking her/his guidance...You may offer tobacco when giving thanks, and when making food offerings".

On Thursday, the Junior High and High School played Volleyball all afternoon as a part of spirit days. I have a small homeroom, and ended up having to pull a couple of players from other homerooms. We had a blast playing, and were actually doing really well. At one point, a male student and I knocked into each other. He started to fall, and so did I. Instead of me falling on him, in a split second reaction, while I was rolling, I somehow jumped over him and went into the next court. I was just relieved that I didn't hurt him as he's a very talented fancy dancer and he shrugged it all off. It was all good-plus, people got a great chuckle. I went into the office laughing about this, telling the story. Some people laughed, and some people shared that I did something wrong, but didn't explain it.

If you know me, you know that I'm not a disrespectful person at all. The thought that I disrespected a student was awful, and awful too because I didn't understand how. Again, this is where people's patience for me has come into effect! There's one person that I seem to always run to when I'm upset or need advice. I trust her immensely-she has a beautiful soul. I sat down and said, "I think I've done something wrong". I described what happened and one of the first questions she asked me was, "do you believe in our ways?" I said yes, with no hesitation (I'll probably speak more about this later in another post). I found out that it is considered to be disrespectful to step over a man, which can cause like a bad medicine of sorts (such as headaches), especially if you're on your moon (your period). I felt absolutely horrible. She explained that because it was not intentional and I did not understand this when it happened, she didn't think the spirits would do anything. I still felt horrible. She asked me how the student reacted, and I said he was fine, he shrugged it off, and everything was okay. She reassured me that it was a mistake and it was okay.

So the volleyball came continued, I joked that this time if I tripped on him, I would just go ahead and fall on him (after apoligizing profusely). We ended up getting 1st place!! How cool is that? It was so much fun-I fell a couple of times, I did a few victory dances, and I got to cheer for my students (all of them, not just my homeroom).

I am so blessed to be where I am and to have such amazing people in my life. I learn so much from the students and people around me. They are incredible.

Twilight Craze

So unbelievably enough, I left my house at 11:30 p.m. to drive to Walmart to buy the Twilight movie. I got a phone call at 11:15 from one of my students to remind me to buy it! So I pulled my shoes on, stuck the dogs in their kennel, and headed to walmart-about a 15 minute drive away.

I got there and headed to the electronics, where I lined up with probably about 100 people. By the time I got to the till, I'd say that there were another 100 or more behind me. I got three copies of the extended version-one for me, one for a student who wanted a copy, and one for a draw.

See this goes beyond just a movie. I actually started a book club at school for the first book, Twilight. I had kids who were interested, which was unbelievable, as the rez is not known to encourage reading much. I'd never even seen a child reading before! We raised over $300 to buy copies of the book Twilight, and each student got their own copy to read and keep. We meet once a week on Fridays at lunch to discuss things. So far, it's been pretty informal, but the kids are excited, and I'm thrilled. I've decided as a part of an incentive to come, I'm going to hand out a ticket to each kid for each different time they come. The tickets will be put in a draw that will be drawn at the end of the book for a massive grand prize. So far, it'll include the extended version movie (which I bought), and I figure I'll pick up posters, books, etc. as well. We're planning on having a big party at the end of the book and watch the movie. It's the coolest thing to see the kids walking around with their nose in a book-and I even have some guys too! They talk about where they are and how much they've read, and they're so excited.

So in the end, it was worth lining up with a whole bunch of screaming teenagers who were not my students to get the films. Another topic for the book club to bring up...how many of you would have lined up?

An Untypical Friday

So today was not a normal day....it was the last day of semester, and so I had very few students. It was really nice-now I don't normally wish for my students not to be at school, but I've been quite sick this past week and very tired. So, this was a nice break. Except for my Grade 7s, I only had a couple kids in each class.

One of my past students, who just became a mom, stopped by with her little guy and her sister. The hair on that baby!!! I got an amazing compliment from the sister, who I had never met before. She said, "there should be more teachers like you, and I'm not joking". I thought that was an awesome compliment. I joked about me being the white chick 'cause that's what I am!!!

I found out who I'm getting in my new classes coming up, and many of the kids I don't know. I'm excited about that-fresh blood! Lol...

My Very First Blog Ever....

Hard to believe that a year ago, I didn't even know what a blog was. I mean I probably would have guessed that it had something to do with computers, but beyond that...no comment!

We are ending a semester at my school, which is good, 'cause I'm ready for a change. The kids are ready for a change. We're actually going into our last semester of the year, and I can't believe how quickly time has flown by, and how sweet it's been.

I'm in my first year here, but in my 7th year of teaching. The years previous haven't been kind-bounced from term to term, school to school, and unemployment in between. I always knew I was meant to be a teacher, but when things happen that tear at the heart of who you are, you question if you should be doing what you planned to do.

Thankfully I was led to this school and to the position of my dreams-Home Ec. I never expected to fall in love with a school and the kids so fast...and so it's here, that I want to be able to share what I've learned, seen, and experienced. Most importantly, I want to share my students with others. I will let you know that at all costs, I will protect the privacy of my students, school, and the reserve. And you need to know that some things, I will take to my grave. I am very protective of those that I care about, and this community has been wonderful to me. As it has cared for me, I will care for it.